Slugs, Snails and Puppy Dogs Tails

17 Weeks...

2009-09-06T19:09:00.000-07:00

We are 17+ weeks now, and time seems to be flying by, next week I go on a plane to see my grandmother who has never seen me pregnant and my mother, I am looking forward to it immensely. My only problem is that I am leaving my darling Bom behind with his Daddy for 4 days!! The longest I have ever left him, and it is going to rip my heart apart :( However it will be good for them, DH will get to see that I don't have it so easy, and Bom will get to spend some quality time with his Dad.

I'm a bit scared of how my grandmother is going to react, she had a stroke many years ago and remembers me as a child, telling her that I am married, have a child and another on the way every half an hour is going to be hard, sad but happy at the same time I think.

I am so excited to see my mother though, I haven't seen her since March, and I struggle here without her, but knowing that I get to see her next week, and that she will be here when Bub is due makes me extremely happy as well. 2 and a bit days together, so little but it means a lot.

Bom is making more leaps with his speech which is fantastic, we are waiting for an appointment from Audiology to see whether or not he will be getting grommets which I hope will also help his speech/hearing.

No joy on the toilet training front as yet, he doesn't seem interested and I am not going to force him until he is ready.

8 days until I go away, 18 days until flavour time, 23 weeks until baby time :)

Hope you are having a fabulous day!

2nd Trimester

2009-08-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

Well we have made it to the second trimester, I am currently 15 weeks and a few days pregnant, and it's not how it was the last time...

There is no morning sickness!

I think it is a girl, with DS I thought it was going to be a boy from the start, now however I am thinking of a girl, and girls names... it is very strange.

10 weeks 3 Days, 210 Days to Go

2009-07-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

The joys of being pregnant!

The morning sickness is pretty much non-existent, Im a bit afraid actually so im hoping when I meet the MW next week for the first time, that I didn't imagine the positive tests!

So I haven't spewed, my breasts ache like they are having there own little menstrual cramps, Im tired, and my little munchkin has taken to kissing the bubby... which makes for a very cold stomach!

not to mention the tongue in the belly button *shudders*

Current obsessions in our house are : Barney, Cookies, Fish and Cats.

Current wants in our house : for the next 210 days to swing by fast!

I ran out of smokes at 6pm last night, I didn't have on again until 9.20 this morning, I don't think I feel good about it either, its the morning that I seem to have issues with, the missing out on that first morning smoke.

But at least even if some of it was sleeping, that I know I can go that long without one.

So, It has been a while....

2009-07-16T18:58:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a good few months, which looking at my track record is no big surprise.

I am pleased to announce to anybody and everybody whoever may read this, that after 9ish months of trying, we are expecting our second baby.

We are currently 10 weeks along and have first midwife visit next week.

Hubby and I are extremely happy.

I hope that everyone else out in the blogosphere is having as good a year as I.

Were you born to be a quitter?

2009-05-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

I wasn't!

I'm trying my butt off to quit smoking and it's not working! I read Allan Carrs' Easyway, I can't use patches and gum, they make me feel queasy, and even a hyperactive toddler does not help.

Lets make a list of stuff that I have tried to QUIT and failed :

Chocolate
Smoking
Coca Cola

ha, 3 things, and I have failed completely... ahhhhh well, I will just keep going, and going and going.

I redid my facebook today, and its funny, I have the guy I lost my virginity to, one of the guys I let get away, and the ex-fiance who used to do unspeakable things from previous posts did to me.

Now I am not one to dwell, ok maybe I am, but shhhh we'll keep that under our hats. But I have just realised the Mr Unspeakable - I don't stay friends with Ex's - is OMG one of my friends.

I love people that say and do another.

Hospitals...

2009-04-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

Today we are going to the hospital where my darling Bom was born.

Now while I normally have no problems per se with hospitals, this one truly sucks.

Bom has a lump in his stomach, I am unsure as to what it is, although the doctor described it as a lymph node mass, now this lymph node mass has moved and grown and shrunk in size, and I know what a lymph node mass can be, and what it can't be, I am only hoping that it is not what it could be in the worst sense of the word and only be a hernia.

We are also going to get his speech development checked out, they are going to do a tympanogram.. haha good luck with that.

And they are also going to check out his hearing, because my little trouble maker is quite susceptible to ear infections which may lead to grommets.

The other thing that is being checked out are his legs, he has been walking for 14 months now, and he still turns his foot in and trips over his feet. According to the doctor he has next to no strength in the opposite leg and plenty in the other.

I have stayed away from beloved google so that I don't self diagnose and scare the crap out of myself, but I am scared, I am scared for my little boy, and scared of what the outcome is going to be.

I Am Who I Am...Or Am I?

2009-04-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

I am a Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Cousin and Friend.

Why am I defined by these things, and why through my own actions, do I act differently for each title?

I am the woman who gets her son up each morning, plays and feeds him all day and puts him to bed. I am his Mother.

I am the woman who ignores her husband getting out of bed in the morning for work, so she can sleep more, the woman who when he walks back in the door asks "How was your day babe, once your out of your uniform can you get the veges on for tea?", the woman who brushes off all attempts at sex, even though she wants another baby. I am his Wife.

I am the woman who loves her mother dearly, the woman who texts her every two days to make sure she's okay. The woman who would fly to the ends of the earth to be near her mother. I am her Daughter.

I am the woman who will help her siblings as much as possible, but isn't sure if she loves them. The woman who will take her sisters degrading comments, but treats her older brother like a child because he acts that way. I am their Sister.

I am the woman who has one niece she sees semi regularly, and bestows with love. I am the woman with a niece that I will never meet, and a nephew that I rarely hear about. I am their Aunt.

I am the woman who will wear a dress for their cousins' wedding. Solely and only for them. I am the woman who loves this cousin so much, that I cry at the pure love between him and his new wife. I am his Cousin.

I am the woman who will listen to all her friends complaints, the woman that will let their tears roll down her shoulder and never expect anything in return. I am their Friend.

Why is it that I feel that I am not this, I am not who they all think that I am? This mainly pertains to my relationship with my Husband.

While I love him (and I do) I feel I am not myself, or who I used to be. I know that people change, and that this is NOT his fault, not by any way, shape or mean.

But he is the receiver of this change. He doe's not know who I am or who I can be. That has been wrecked for him, by C.

C entered my life when I was 14, he was the crass, strange, oddly sexy Australian who used to come into my work and give me a devastatingly beautiful smile... fast forward a few years and 2 boyfriends to July 2005 where he becomes my boyfriend at the tender age of 17.

I the all knowing and seeing wise one that I was (yeah right) knew that he had been to jail, that he had alcohol and violence convictions. He explained those away for me, and I let it rest.

I learnt that those devastatingly gorgeous smiles, were meant for me, because he had, had a crush on me for the past 3 years, that's why he wrote to me from jail, rung me while on bail and then went straight back to jail, that's why he kept coming back to where we lived was to see me.

Which of course made me feel so special.

We had dated for 2 months before alcohol came into it. That night, he threw me across his bedroom, and then threw me out into the lounge, and broke the back door window. I wasn't allowed to leave. I had to stay with him all night other wise I would "Get the shit beaten out of me."

It was the first night I had been allowed to stay, and I was scared. I spent the whole night against the wall praying that someone would come or that I could leave. But for someone that was as drunk as he was he was a light sleeper. He didn't remember a thing the next morning.

I being the innocent that I was, knew that I couldn't tell my mother, but thought that it was a one off. I ended up moving in with him on boxing day 3 months later.

We went to work together on an orchard, where he proceeded to get drunk a lot, but didn't do anything, in fact he proposed there one drunken night. I of course accepted.

We moved in with my mother, who in turn began to notice (he had a new job) just how often he never came home, or how late he came home, drunk and reeking of marijuana, unapologetic and mean.

But again, never hurt me while living there.

We moved out of there, and into his parents place, all the while he was going to our old place, drinking, getting stoned and never coming home.

One night he decided that he had, had enough, I remember it vividly - he started stabbing the Cola bottle with a knife (while drunk obviously) and started calling me a Whore, Slut, Dog and telling me that he was going to Ibiza without me ( that was our long term plan) then he started in on his mother, slamming her hand repeatedly in the sliding door. I went to the bedroom to get away from it. He punched me. Repeatedly. To this day he can not remember that, and I have not told him.

His brother who was also living there at the time, had not previously believed me about Cs' actions and said that I must have caused them. That night I was vindicated, his brother witnessed the fact that I had said and done nothing to cause this violent outburst.

For the first time ever.. I rung the police.

I rung the police, and they came and took him away, where he assaulted one as well. I remember walking to the end of the driveway to stand next to G. (brother) to make sure that the police were okay. I watched them pepper spray my fiance to the ground to subdue him (he was a large man.) and I remember his brother pulling me into a hug and saying I'm Sorry, I had no idea.

I will always remember that apology, as it is the only one that has had the most meaning in my short lifetime.

I went to the police station the next day, and watched this sad little boy, with his shoes taken off him in case he hung himself and handed him a letter, stating that I could not go on with this relationship if he was to continue acting this way.

He cried, I wrote a letter to the judge recusing his behaviour, and he got let off with a fine and community service.

Which lead to all the other smatterings of violence, alcohol and drug abuse his community service sparked in him to go to school and learn a trade that he is still doing now, but it lead to him also meeting the drop-kicks of society.

And it is also where I lost my dignity. He strangled and choked me in front of these people. And they laughed.

He punched me over and over that night as well.

I left him not long after that night, after 18 months I had had enough.

Now know, that is only some of the abuse that he has put me through, there is physical, mental, verbal and sexual abuse that is just not what I am ready to talk about yet.

He has changed and ruined me now, I am no longer the outgoing, friendly, enthusiastic person I once was.

I am now the paranoid, panic attack ridden, shy, unconfident, body image issued person that he has caused me to be.

My husband, has received a damaged wife, and he does not know it, for while he is attentive, he's not that attentive.

My Husband and Son, could have received a bubbly, enthusiastic, confident wife and mother, instead they receive this broken shell.

This shell that hates who she is, hates what she has become, and does not know where to start to fix things. Especially those that can't be fixed.

That's 3 years ago now, 3 years that have haunted me over and over.

But 3 years ago I met this man, and I became pregnant to him, and became his wife.

I love this man, but he deserves who I used to be.

I love my son, but he deserves who I used to be.

I deserve who I used to be.

On This Day, History Was Made

2009-04-05T05:41:00.000-07:00

Happy 2nd Birthday Sweetheart

On this day, 2 years ago at 2.o2pm, I had the most cutest alien looking creature placed on my stomach, his huge blue eyes staring at me and his warm little body heating mine.

Over the last two years we have had our ups and downs, mainly due to first time parenting... but we have survived.

(And when I say Survived, I don't use that word lightly, I seriously thought that I would be the worlds crappiest mother and for some reason that he would crap out and take the great battery operated ride outta here... (He's proven me wrong here... his batteries NEVER die!))

Survived being diagnosed with Asthma at 6 months old

Survived choking on fries at Burger King while everyone else just stares

Survived our first pet... and now our second

Survived learning to crawl/walk/run

Survived the pen and crayon on the wall...just

And that's just what I have survived.

You my darling son, have made me smile, laugh and cry every single day with amazement at what you have accomplished already in your two short years, whether it be saying Mummy for the first time, or waking me up with kisses.

This year alone, you have developed a pretty good skill of throwing balls (and whatever else is in reach) , your speech has come in leaps and bounds, you have learnt to distinguish shapes even though you can't name them, you can count to three, and try to dress yourself.

You are learning to toilet train, with joy no less... the look on your face when you have gone to the toilet is priceless... even more so when it's on the concrete outside and you screw up your nose and then go some more!

You have formed closer attachments to your father and I but still retain that strong independent streak that you have held since you graced our world, you have also started recognising the people closest to you in your life and show great excitement when you see them.

You have the most outgoing and friendly personality, be it on the street or a store, you always have a wave and kiss for someone, whether you know them or not.

And you are also quite the ladies man already (do they make chastity belts for boys?) a hug, kiss and flirtatious smile for the ladies never goes astray.

Sometimes I just like to stare at you in wonder, like I did in the hospital when you were born, I like to look at your beautiful blonde hair, and big blue eyes, and just watch you doing whatever your doing (normally something destructive.) and drink you in.

I still have that fear that grips my heart, that one day I'm going to wake up and you won't be there, but your seemingly indestructibility has lessened that fear, and now I only hold hope for your future, hope that you achieve what you want to achieve, and become what you want to become.

I am so proud of you my darling bom, I love you with my whole entire heart...don't ever change.

Food for thought...

2009-04-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

Why do people say, (without obviously thinking of the meaning) "Hurts like the buggery" or Hurts like a Buggery"

I would think that a papercut would not hurt like well.... that.

BUGGERY
bug⋅ger⋅y /ˈbʌgəri, ˈbʊg-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [buhg-uh-ree, boog-] Show IPA
–noun Often Vulgar.
sodomy.
Origin: 1300–50; ME bugerie heresy; see bugger 1 , -y 3
Dictionary.com Unabridged

Mine, Mine, Mine

2009-04-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

This is Boms' favourite new word, MINE.

Can Mummy have some? Mine

Where's my shoes? Mine

I'm going to go to the toilet. Mine

I have created a monster, in trying to teach him ownership, everything has become his. Literally and figuratively.

The stones on the driveway... his.

The piece of paper in hubbys' worksmates' pocket? His.

I think Bom and I will be sitting down tomorrow and having a wee discussion, not of course that he will be able to verbally tell me, shut the hell up woman, if its mine its mine and no matter what you say. That's not going to change.

Ahhh children, who has them?

He has also lately developed a need for me to have shoes on, and I wear very quick to put on shoes, which he has noticed means easy for him to put on... himself or me, it doesn't matter.

But that's only as long as Mummy has shoes on, sitting on the couch, sitting in the kitchen, cooking tea, going for a walk, going to bed. I have NO choice, if I don't succumb we hear the beginnings of a 2 year old meltdown...

And as any mother knows that is NOT pretty. Hubby thinks it's funny and that I need to (as he so nicely put it) "Grow a pair, toughen up and take it like a man." and tell Bom that it's just not on.

I can't! The little quivery lip and the tears in those huge baby blues just make me melt... not to mention all of the little poos bribery kisses that he gives me...

hmmm... finger... little... wrapped anybody? *hides*

Any tips for tantrums? Share them round please :D

Best Friends

2009-04-04T07:21:00.000-07:00

Do you remember when your first best friend used to mean everything to you, drop of a hat and you would be there?

I do, I remember when she used to cry and I would go running over to her house and be there for her the best I could.

I remember when she got upset with me because I lost the tiny knives to her Barbie campervan down the slits of the veranda.

I remember playing games at the kitchen table with her, and her brothers and sister.

I remember eating Nutella on toast and sandwiches after school, watching Cartoon Network, when Sky used to come in the ugly black decoder.

I remember when she used to come and stay at my house, and would last until about 10pm before she had to go home from homesickness.

I remember fireworks in her front yard, with her dad setting off the whistling wheels, and being allowed to have sparklers.

I remember painting our nails with the Little Blossom nail tint from the Avon catalogues and thinking we were the coolest thing out.

I remember going to her Nana and Grandads and getting ice cream in a cone, and hanging out and talking with them, they were cool.

I remember how clean and distinctive her house used to smell.

I remember the smell of her mothers perfume, and because her mother was like a second home for me, when I was 17 I bought a bottle of it just so I could remember.

I remember visiting after we moved, and never feeling as comfortable in her home again as I once did.

When I moved here, it was fine, until the day I fell in love with her New BFFs' brother, and suddenly the world changed, I was no longer needed, wanted or a friend.

I went to visit her, she never came to see me, unless she was picking up her new BFF.

I showed concern for a medical ailment she had, and could not talk to her about it, so I talked to my mother, who in turn told hers.

and that's where it went downhill, for my caring, I got tossed aside and talked about behind my back.

I realised about 4 months ago, that we have never truely known each other, for a very long time, it came down to holidays and even then it was me going to visit her, yes I stayed at her house, but did we talk? No. I think realistically we stopped being BFF a long time ago, and became more of accquaintances.

A few days after my son was born, I got a text saying "Congratulations on your baby." in which I replied, "I don't want your congratulations." and from there the friendship has been dead.

I have never explained to her, that while I was extremely happy for her for forging new friendships, I was upset that when I fell out with her BFFs' family, that she found the need to text my now MIL and say that I always do this to families of my boyfriends, and that she would not be surprised if my son is not my now husbands.

Let me get this straight now, I am not that kind of girl, I never have been (promiscuous). Nor have I ever been a homewrecker.

She had betrayed my innermost trust, by saying this sort of thing about me, and then expects me to be happy about the congratulations for a kid that is "probably not" my husbands son according to her. I do NOT think so.

So now, I don't believe in best friends, I believe in a select few, that you can trust with most details.

IRL friends are over-rated.

Ode to the SIL

2009-03-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

Hi Sweetheart - yeah you SIL

See I can be just as fake as your chicken cutlets! Honey, stop slandering me around town, between you and your mother its just pathetic...omg Guess What?!

I married your fucking brother 2 years ago, I had his kid 2 years ago, OMG he chose me over you 2 years ago....

GET THE FUCK OVER IT!

I have had it, I never ever forced him into the choices he made, I never stopped him from seeing you or your mother, in fact we never said anything about never seeing DS anymore, but then again that was a given... you guys just made it up to suit yourselves that we had said it.

And if you actually asked your brother face to face, which of course for someone with big wise words and all the rest of it, you would know that he in fact spoke to you and your mother again because of ME, thats right ME.

I love how I was also coming between your so called 3some of friends, honey, I never even SAW her for fucks sake.

You are truly your mothers daughter thats for sure, completely fucking demented.

I could go on and on and on, but sweetie,

While you think im fat.... Im only a size 14... you look like a size 24 - So go get something to suck that fat out of your ass... oops hang on thats exercise, and because your dumbass mother got HD you have to actually do some! Shame its not working.

BTW I admit I've made some parenting mistakes, but sugar, my mother hasn't raised my son, especially so I could go out partying while he was 5 months old, Im sure your wee girl will appreciate you for it when shes older..

not to mention that shes number 4 in your goal list this year on bebo...ya know, after losing baby weight and getting your license and all that... she should be your number one goal!

I have only EVER had DS babysat - not pawned - babysat when:

1. Your mother forced us to go out to the movies
2. When your mother forced us to go out to the movies
3. Our wedding night.
4. To go to the movies
5. To go to the movie
6. The night of conference
7. To go to a wedding
8. To go to the movies.

Now let me see... he is turning 2 in 15 days, 4 of those times were in his first year, oh look so that means that I leave him for a total of 2 hours every 3 months! Wow fuck me, I just pawn my kid off left right and center don't I.

Go shut your fat fucking trap you cow, I cant stand you, I hate your fakeness, and to be honest, dont ever count on your brother coming back to the fold, he told me that if we ever split or I died, he wouldn't. Now we know he doesnt lie don't we.

P.S. He calls my mum, mum... wanna pass that one on for me?

But YOUR Bed's better than MINE!

2009-02-23T00:30:00.000-08:00

DS has taken it into his head, that he gets to go to sleep in our bed, this has happened for the last 3 nights...not to mention that he hasn't gone to bed until after 10pm! So today I made his nap time earlier, I fought him for it in fact, and he woke at around 4, we had dinner at 6 and it is now 9.30pm and he is still not sleeping!!!! Normally he would be in bed by 7-7.30pm but no for some reason Mr DS has decided to write his own rules..

Rule #1 Paint Mummy and Daddy's carpet green while they think I am in bed

Rule #2 Knock on the lounge door loudly, just in case they didn't realise I was there

Rule #3 Tip Mummys' tobacco out, on the carpet, while she has to wait another week for a new packet

Rule #4 Dismantle everything insight, but so quietly that it seems like a SAS worker has been in to redecorate.

Honestly, I don't know where we have lost the control? I mean, we feed him, clothe him, bathe him (When we remember... I kid, I kid) We play with him and say 1,2,3 endlessly...

What has made my baby decide that his bloody cost more than my teeth bed isn't good enough? And that our old lumpy, bumpy, kills my hips bed is?

So right now, I'm guessing that my little munchkin, is playing in the hallway, instead of snoring in his bed... maybe I'll leave him there? He might go to sleep!

And if anybody has an idea, feel free to help a girl out!

And So Things Highly Amuse... and Come to an End

2009-02-17T03:48:00.000-08:00

So this post will be a MIL post, amongst other things...

Background: MIL hates my guts... why? Because I love her son, and her son chose me...over her manipulating ways... she threatened our family and called me an unfit mother... hmm the things I could say...we disowned her, and shes pretending that she disowned us first and that I made her sons hate her... ah well her loss... shes missing out on watching her grandson grow up because shes so evil...

Today it came to my attention that Mil's precious grandchild #3 (all 3 were born in the space of 2 years, we were first) is the user of a dummy/pacifier/binky.... much to my great amusement being that she thinks that they are disgusting, now said grandchild and her daughter are living with her, and she is essentially one of the primary caregivers, now for a woman that hates not getting her own way... it amuses me that this one uses one. But then I'm guessing that she doesn't want to rock the boat and lose her 3rd grandchild either...

it also highly amuses me that someone who abused our benefit system, plead guilty in court as she had "every intention of doing so as I wanted to pay it back" she received 6 months home detention and 200 hours community service hours and has to pay back the amount (50k) now... I would have thought that having wanted to pay it back.. you would not have committed the crime in the first place? - Or is that just too easy a thought?

Now I have to admit, I have kept tabs on her, mainly for fear of the safety of my family, and the irrational fear that she is going to try and take my child from me. And I will admit that I am delirious with happiness that she has finally got her just desserts, but I still think she deserved longer.

For 6 months, I get to walk down the street without looking over my shoulder for her... there are other people that I have to avoid that are her little minions... but avoiding the BIL is a bit hard, being that hes living back in town and he is Hubby's brother.

I don't hate this woman anymore, but I do fear her, and I pity her for her pathetic ways.

On a positive note, we are now financially better off, which makes me really happy we will be able to get more for our family and be happier within ourselves.

But I would like to make a note to my darling DS - I love you, but please when you are hopping into bed with me, don't stick your pooey nappy bum on my head! In fact, hold it in... until Mummy wakes up properly :D It won't cause you any problems *I Promise* OK maybe that's a little mummy white lie

Now all I have to say is roll on march the 12th and 15th, because here comes the mother truckin bride baby...

3 Weeks and Counting!

2008-11-28T23:51:00.001-08:00

I AM SO EXCITED!

In 3 weeks or there-abouts, we are flying down to spend Christmas with my Mum. It will be her first Christmas with her grandson and SIL and my first Christmas with her in 3 years!

Its going to be fantastic, just hanging out and relaxing, she has to work, but thankfully she will be finishing early enough in the day that we still get to see her and she still gets to spend time with DS.

The only downside to this trip is that DH and I will be lugging back 3 suitcases full of stuff.. now we are only going down with one! Unfortunately (and fortunately) my maman likes to buy up large for her grandson and stocks up...

I think shes forgotten where the post office is!

Will be interesting when #2 arrives, I don't have room for another 2 suitcases next time we go down!

Although hopefully next time we will have a car and be driving which means being able to bring back more stuff!

I am really excited about this as it is also DHs first time out of the North Island..and on a plane!

but also because my Mum is my best friend ever, she has always been there for me, and even though we had our serious ups and downs it has been for the best, as now I don't know what I would do without her!

hmm I love my mummy... even if she does shop too much.

A Letter to My Baby

2008-11-28T23:50:00.000-08:00

My Darling Boy,

Over 19 months you have blown my world away, and it is the best thing ever!

Waiting for you was a pain (I’ll Admit) you made me rather uncomfortable while you were in my tummy, I was being sick everyday and you liked to kick mummy and get the hiccups at the wrong time of the night… You also used to like to head butt mummy while she was in town and couldn't yell!

The day I found out you were a boy was the best, I went in there armed with my videotape, all ready to be stoic and not cry and all of a sudden there you were on the screen wiggling around and looking all baby like, the most beautiful emotion swept over me watching you and I was unable to contain my tears… Unfortunately Daddy couldn't be there as he had to work and couldn't get the time off, but I went up there straight after and told him that you were gorgeous and a boy, he could not stop smiling! (And your Nana cried!)

We started shopping for “boy stuff” and so did Nana, we got quite a stockpile while waiting for you to come out, come your due date you still didn't want to visit (which was a good thing seeing as Nana had only brought your cot up on that day) so Daddy and Nana made me go for huge 2.5km walks everyday to try and bring you on, but you were stubborn just like me and refused to move and we tried everything!

Two weeks later, I went into the hospital to be induced, they gave me a special drug to try and bring you on and even that didn’t work! I was admitted overnight and because I was scared you were going to come out with nobody there I made Daddy and Nana stay with me, Daddy on a stretcher and Nana on chairs. You didn’t come during the night but I had some uncomfortable induction contractions even though you still weren’t ready in the morning either.

Come the morning, Jill (the lady who delivered you) came in and decided that she was going to help things along by putting a small nick in the special water that you were in and see if that worked, by that time Daddy was home with Aunty Annalise putting our bedding away and feeding Hondo. So Nana and I went downstairs and indulged in a cigarette (naughty I know but it was stressful!) and by the time we came back up you must have been ready, I walked in the door and your special waters broke!

I was rather upset because for some irrational reason I wanted to give birth to you in my new pyjamas, how you were supposed to come out I will never know. We decided to hop in the bath to see if the spa would help with the pain… not so much but it spared Aunty Annalise a sight when her and Daddy walked in the door about 10 minutes later…

We got out of the bath and onto the bed, and I got to try the happy gas (now that is some cool stuff!) which helped for a little while, but then I needed something else so I got an injection to help with the pain… Coming time to push you out I had, had enough and was asking for an epidural as everything had worn off but it was too late…

So instead I had to hold Nana's and Daddy’s’ hands to push you out, I just about broke them! (And I bit myself) after 45 minutes of pushing you were out, the most gorgeous and alien looking thing all the same, and that same rush of emotion came over me again, as well as relief! Your first cuddles were with Daddy and then Nana, you came out a bit cold, due to a common infection that I had while pregnant with you so you had skin – to –skin contact with Daddy for a little while to warm you up.

And then once you were cleaned up everybody converged! You were idolised from day one and still are.

It has been a pleasure to watch you grow and I feel extremely privileged, from hearing your first giggle and seeing your first smile, to your first sore tummy and cutting your first tooth. Watching you sit, and learning to crawl, watching you pull yourself up and starting to walk.

Hearing “Mama”, “Dada” and “Nana” from out of your mouth was beautiful… even now hearing you say “DeeYa” as you go around the door with your sunglasses round your neck, Daddy’s hat on and carrying Mummy’s handbag, it is the most amazing thing ever.

Having watched you grow from being a beautiful little baby into a well behaved beautiful little boy who’s polite, kind and generous not to mention cuddly, industrious, vivacious and an out-going daredevil has been some of the most proud moments of my life.

Don’t ever change darling.

I love you.

Mummy

Tick Tock Tick Tock

2008-11-20T22:10:00.000-08:00

Am currently sitting here driving myself nuts as to whether or not MIL has gone to jail...

Wishful thinking probably on my part as the old biddy seems to have a tin ass when it comes to life...

Other than that slowly counting down the days until we can try and make baby #2, and getting ready for christmas at my mamas.. DHs first time on a plane no less!

Its going to be fantastic for me, no trappings of everyday life - no bloody playstations or anything, just peace and quiet.. and doting nanas looking after their grandson.

Going for a wee trip futhur south to see my grandmother as well, we are going to take her out to the mall and go shopping :D Yay! I can see DH taking DS to a gaming store just to get away...

But thats ok.. only 28 days until we see mum/nana and 1 month 9 days until we can TTC and only 35 days until Twilight hits new zealand theatres, woo fantastic next 2 months!

Web of Lies

2008-11-15T13:14:00.000-08:00

Im frustrated and upset...

we have done our best to keep the important things from MIL like where we live, when we got married (that we got married) and DSs christening etc etc... but she knows it all... because of someone that we told. they told their mother and she fucking told her... I dont know it just pisses me off, is nothing sacred in this world anymore?

And my kind of SIL shes broken my heart I guess, when all the crap was going on with MIL we all stood together, promised to be honest and now - they are back talking to her and we are left on the sidelines with them telling us one thing and her another... eg.. my nephew was apparantly being breastfed... nup seen photos of him being bottlefed.

The joys of wanting to be seen... for those of you that know nothing its a complex situation and we are not a crappy couple or anything the MIL has a way of manipulating whoever the hell she wants, and unfortunately, they have fallen back under it.

So For Some Good News!

2008-10-22T02:25:00.000-07:00

DH GOT HIS PAYRISES!

And we are just so rapt about it! Its been a long time coming, made a few waves at work with it as they seem to despise the union but hey, what can you deny someone who'll drag you to court if you dont pay up? yeah I thought so..

So gonna pay my mama back, get DH some stuff to praise him for asserting himself, pay off DS's christmas laybuys and thats really about it. Hmmmm Might get some MCNs as well...

Anywho me and my euphoric self are going to go dream of what to spend this money on... it goes to damn fast!

Kiddlys New Trick

2008-10-05T20:43:00.001-07:00

imagine this....

Out for a walk in the sunshine, off to visit your daddy at work, your mummy is trying to get you used to walking without the pram. Its all going well until you hear a truck/car/motorbike or mummy gets to far ahead.

All of a sudden you hit the ground crying/screaming/yelling/kicking/hitting (at 18mths old) all because you don't want to walk.

And mummys left there standing like a dick.

All because you won't move and supernannys tips don't bloody work!

Thanks Kid, I love you but could you please start walking!!!!

If I Won Lotto...

2008-10-03T01:44:00.000-07:00

If I won the jackpot this week... this is what i'd do (also for future lotto winning reference if I dont win this week)

Pay off all our debt - Personal Loans, HPs, Dentists, WINZ, Student Loans, Bank Overdrafts.

Put $$ into DS's account (under my name) for schooling and his future.

Pay of Mums, the inlaws and 3 family friends debts.

Buy a house in CHCH and one in Palmy

Furnish Both Houses

Buy me the sexy black SUV that has the camera on the rear so you make sure you dont squash any kiddys when your reversing

Go to America, Japan, China, Egypt and Rome.

Put the rest in the bank after buying clothes that we desperately need!

So... out of $20,000,000

We'd still be left with about 15,000,000.... which is 15,000,000 reasons not to go back to work!

Don't you just love the smell of fresh bread....

2008-10-03T01:36:00.000-07:00

yeah I can't smell it... I just wanted to make your mouth water

hehe

Anywhoo...

1. DS's beds have arrived to DH about half the day to make one, then find that the other is broken! Fantastic so thats going back to the shop!

2. I've reinstated my bebo, decided that I missed it too much and now it looks a bit better.

3. Most 100% definately going to be TTC#2 at the end of this year, I suppose its now or never so in a couple of months all your gonna hear is me bitching about morning sickness and heartburn and dizzy spells... and about how much blimmin babies cost!

4. I had the dentist today... for the 1st day out of 5 visits! Got 5 fillings, only another 15 and 3 extractions to go! haha so not something to be proud of...

5. My DS now goes eeeeeeeeeewwwwww when hes done a poop in his nappy... Love it... makes it less of a surprise when ya open it!

6. Go Whitcoulls, having a clearance sale at the moment 5 books for $10.00 made my week!

7. Lotto is at $20,000,000 and I am so gonna win it!

8. I heart Jack Johnson and the Juno Soundtrack, DH caved and let me buy them.. I heart him too :D

9. Can you tell that I'm really bored?

10. Does anybody actually read this?

Arrivederci

I understand the concept of cleaning & washing... I just don't understand what it has to do with me

2008-09-14T15:56:00.000-07:00

Me - the most undomestic goddess that has ever been born... washed and hung 6 loads of washing yesterday - thats right 6!

Give me a medal!...

Ok maybe it hasnt been folded yet, but that has to be done once kiddly goes to bed. He thinks it fun to help Mummy by putting it all on the floor... which hasnt been vacuumed!

But still I did it and I helped DH cook tea... ( I actually like cooking, but it has to be from scratch and for more than 3 people.. which he just doesn't understand!)

And I cleared up the lounge a little, which didnt even look like it.. now I have to sort kiddlys room out and the spare room so that we have space for his big boy beds when they arrive from customs!

ok... it sounds like im nesting... Must.Stop.Tidiness.Now! tis not me and Im not pregnant...

I Hate Sickness!

2008-09-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

Well today is one of those days where everybody is sick... okay maybe not DH seeing as hes at work, but someone needs to bring in the moolah!
DS is currently in bed after a few days of lovely runny excretia coming from that end and we have now seen lovely pineapply chunkiness out the other end from pizza last night... the stuff thats "hot in the box with the dots" aint so hot regurgitated the next morning! And his poor wee bottom is red raw as well so I think we might have a wee bit of teething going on...again!
And im sitting here sniffling, snuffling and coughing my way through a headcold with hayfever combined... why couldnt I have been born like one of those smug people that say "I've never been sick a day in my life" you know... the ones you want to punch in the mouth while your looking like crap and they look like Megan Fox strutting around at a red carpet event... (im not bitter really)
So theres not really a lot else happening at our end of the world, although I'm not getting my teeth fixed for the princely sum of $700 and something! but they give me the happy juice while im getting them ripped out, so thats all good!
We've been visiting family as well over the last couple of days my darling cousin brought some Jimmy's Pies all the way from the south island for me, and a whole load of chocolate from cadburys... its great. Got a sexy pair of high heels for his wedding too. So all in all not a bad deal.
Anyway... im off to snuggle in bed and sulk over the snot and god knows what thats coming out of my body, while trying to keep master 17mths entertained...

Why oh why was I Born??!

29th August 2008

2008-09-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

Well today I got a massive sleep in due to its one of DH's days off, but it was also one of those horrible days where it couldn't make it's mind up whether it was going to rain or not - hence a Ho-Hum kind of day!
A very close family friend and I took my little darling to the park this afternoon so that he could watch the birds, decided to chase some ducks and got rather scared when a cockatoo started squawking really loudly. But had a fun time running around and playing lions.
Also in my own little world today, I started compiling a stockpile list of what I need for a new baby when we decide to have one and its not small!
Baby Capsule ($200)Next Stage Up Carseat ($300)New Push chair depending if DS is walking himself by then ($6-800)New Cot Mattress ( $80)Nappies - Im looking at going MCN ($500)Argh - Its so frustrating! Also trying to point out to DH* that its ok to ask for the 2 payrises you deserve! ( * stubborn male individual that does not do anything without nagging!)
And that the back pay he would recieve would wipe out at least one of our HP's and leave us with a little bit left over - Is that not cause for celebration?

Ach men - why marry them?

28th August 2008

2008-09-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

Its been an interesting week so far, I decided to make this blog... (silly me!), DH and I have decided at the beginning of next year we are going to try to concieve our 2nd child ( What the hell are we thinking??!) and My son has just absolutely blown me away with what he understands!
While at the doctors earlier this week, getting 15mth immunisations ( which he screamed and I have sworn I am never doing again.. DH can from now on!) , he was running around and dropping his water bottle everywhere... so I said "Where's your bottle?" he comes back with "bottle?" and goes running and looking for it.. I have proof too as one of my bestest friends was there with us!
And then later that day after we had gotten home and everybody was getting ready for bed I said "nunnyes time" and he goes running to his bedroom to get his nighttime bottle, and his teddy, runs to the microwave and starts yanking on the door! (dont worry no squashed children accidents he was well supervised.) So bottle heated and Pj'd and teddified I said go to bed and he ran straight to his cot!
Now this may not seem a lot too some readers... but for me its amazing, this is the kid that fights going to bed and could not say that many words - albeit he hasnt said bottle again but still!
Our current wordlist is
Mum
Dad
Nana
Birdie
Button
Yeah
No
Dont
Nunu (his teddy)
andBOTTLE!

So for all the people that said my child was slow... stick it in your pipe! He is running, climbing, bumping into stuff and happy and thats all I could ask for..

Now if I could only get DH off the damn PS3....